The Nope Story. A Shirt is Born.

I don’t care about your little story. I just want to buy the shirt for $16, eight bucks to cover your costs and eight bucks to a worthy cause helping resist this nonsense.

Early in the summer of 2017 and in the spirit of this great country, I decided to respond to the curious events that have been a daily occurrence since Tuesday, November 7, 2016 in the typical fashion—by making a t-shirt. Designed to invoke memories of “Hope,” the design employed a whimsical voice taking a stand against bigotry, ignorance,  obstruction of justice and lots of other bad things. Pretty much all the bad things.


It also used two-colors and a half-tone screen on the lettering because an economical way of getting two colors for the price of three demonstrated that fiscal responsibility and social responsibility can go together.

Plus, it looked good:

nope shirt pic
Unsure how they’d be received, I did a small run.
That’s lovely. We’re so happy. But seriously, I don’t care about the story. I just want to buy the shirt.
Well, folks, it was received quite well. A fine shirt it was. Many people said it was the best t-shirt. Matt Lauer, for instance, probably said that very thing. That they were the very best shirts. The shirtiest shirts ever. But many other people said they’d not had a chance to get one. Strangers asked if I had a web site. Children asked me to stop crushing their dreams. What could I say? You snooze you lose? Too bad? No. That would not stand. It was cruel. And cruel is so over. Cruel is so late 2016. But you know what isn’t cruel?
Awesome t-shirts.

Which I am ready to buy if you will. Stop. Typing. And. Just. Give. Me. The. Link.

Here are some of the brilliant, witty, terrific humans who wanted to show the world they’re the best, the very best:

So here we go. Same great design. Same spiffy 100% cotton t-shirt. Same great (!) price ($16). But! Because I’m doing a somewhat larger run, more of that money (half of the cost) will go to a good cause. Options include the Southern Poverty Law Center, The Human Rights Campaign or someone local, or maybe a split between two or three. My goal is a $400 donation, which is possible if the next run sells out.

You can’t help yourself, can you? It’s a condition. Incurable. People talk. Not without empathy but still. 

So. I hope you’ll buy a shirt, and I hope that shirt will be a reminder of sorts that we live in strange times, and that each of us has a role in responding to them.
In her new book, Naomi Klein writes that “saying no to Trump” is not enough. Which is true. But it is a starting place—she also writes that resistance is necessary—so I’m sure she’d still dig the shirt almost as much as I dig this part:

A state of shock is produced when a story is ruptured, when we have no idea what’s going on. But in so many ways, Trump is not a rupture at all, but rather the culmination—the logical end point—of a great many dangerous stories our culture has been telling for a very long time. That greed is good. That the market rules. That money is what matters in life. That white men are better than the rest. That the natural world is there for us to pillage. That the vulnerable deserve their fate, and the 1 percent deserve their golden towers. That anything public or commonly held is sinister and not worth protecting. That we are surrounded by danger and should only look after our own. That there is no alternative to any of this.

I’m crying now. Actual tears.

So. Here’s to alternatives, a legal system with a backbone, the ability to stay focused and active, and the willingness to not only come up with ideas for how to make a better world, but the energy to put them into action. Oh. And to portraying an angry, narcissistic and ill-informed bigot as a golf ball wearing a toupee. Because nothing upsets an egomaniac, and his supporters, more than being the butt of a joke. Should you be amenable to such an endeavor, let me know by placing your mouse over this text and clicking on it. This is called a “link” and will take you to the Place an Order page. But that’s as obvious to you as it was on November 7 things that things were about to go right off the rails. I’m going to stop typing now. Bye. And…buy!